Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Part 3

I am getting all this off of my website..I don't remember when I wrote it, but editing it, realizing I should re do it. Here is the last part of their birth story. I want to add a *warning* may bring on tears, so grab a kleenex.

I was then pushed out of the NICU faster then I wanted. And I sat in my room. I ended up getting a fever and wasn’t allowed to go see them again until it went down, I was then put on antibiotics I had some mysterious infection. The girls were both doing great though, I was so happy, my prayers were answered, to have them born so early, and doing so well. Kyle kept going in to see them and bringing me pictures. Well that night, Ashlyn wasn’t doing good, a Dr came in around 2 am and said that she wasn’t doing well, but she is doing a lot better now, and is stable. So don’t worry too much. Things are fine. Well they weren’t. At 8 am the new shift Dr came in and said that she had a rocky night and that she isn’t doing very well, that if she starts crashing again that we need to come in. I wanted to go in to see them and I had been on antibiotics long enough that I could go in, so they nurse was helping me up, not long after that the Dr came running back in and said we needed to come now. Well she wasn’t doing well at all. When we got in there her heart rate was getting lower and she wasn’t breathing well at all. She had Pulmonary Interstitial Emphysema (PIE), they could try to give her more steroids, but by the time they would work, she probably would not make it. The way they explained it was that the oxygen in her lungs was just flowing right through it wasn’t staying inflated, it was like she had little holes in her lungs. We were told they could resuscitate her, and she already had a severe Intraventricular Hemorrhage (IVH) that it would probably make it even worse then it was. With possible no quality of life. So we made the hardest decision in our lives, and that was to let her go. I still sometimes feel like I made a mistake, but we will never know. By going with what the Dr was saying, and quick judgement, we made the right choice, she didn’t have much of a chance at this point. We then took her over to be with her sister in the other warmer, Haley held her hand. She then went back to my room with us. Haley spent the next 3 months on a roller coaster ride in the NICU. We never did really find out what really caused my Preterm labor. The Dr told me it was due to “twins” and having a incompetent cervix because of that. I believe that it was due to a chain of events and one thing lead to another, and that it was all unfortunately, meant to be. Ashlyn is always in my heart, not a day goes by that I don't think of her, and I know that the bond between identical twins is never broken, whether they are on earth or in Heaven.

Haley Ashlyn *note-daddys hand and ring on her arm

Ashlyn Grace wearing daddys ring



Erin said...

wow... I had no idea about all that! Amazing... and heartbreaking. (yeah, shoulda taken the warning about the kleenex) Haley is beautiful... I love that you gave her her sister's name as her middle name.

Mrs. Flinger said...

I'm sure it was hard to write, but I think it's great that you shared this with us. Thanks for letting us into your heart and the heart of your two little girls.

Traci said...

Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You are right about the Kleenex. No decision is ever easy. You are blessed with your beautiful children whether they are here with you physically or are looking upon you from heaven. Life is so precious and so often we take it for granted, your experience will help teach others to slow down and enjoy life's little moments.

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