ACKKKK!

I hate spiders.....I also hate when they sneak up on you. My house has become spider haven. I don't know why, but they all seem to want to move in. We have various sizes, colors, and friendliness. Well I met one just a few min ago that was of the non friendly breed. Sitting here typing away and he walks down the side of the computer hutch. At first I thought he was a fly, and then he moved funny, and it became obvious that he was looking at me. He followed me. He then stuck his little feelers out and waved them, as if he was saying..."BOOO! " just to scare me and make me jump. Well it worked, I about peed my pants. I scanned the desk for something to smack him with , and nothing was long enough, I did not want my hands too close. He was HUGE! Well, not huge.. more like fat! I have never seen such a fat spider. So I ran out of the room, trying to find something big enough to kill the sucker and I came back to the room with a notebook. It was as if he was waiting for me to do so. He was so calm, he didn't even try to hide with my sudden movements. I prepare my attack..he was in perfect position. I smack the side of the desk so hard..and I swear the stupid spider JUMPED! He took a leap of faith...hoping to land on the keyboard or the side of the table part the monitor sits on..I thought for sure I'd hit him..but I missed. I can't believe I missed..I can't believe the stupid thing jumped. I think he knew my plan of attack..they are smarter then you think you know. With as many in my house you would think they were taking over the world. Starting at my HOUSE! I know the dumb thing is planning its revenge as I sit here, I know that he is watching me, waiting to jump out and scare me again. Now I am sitting here all itchy, ugh..I hate that feeling. My skin is crawling. I can't believe its gone..I hope its all shriveled up in the dark shadows of the desk because I injuried it..at least. I am afraid to sit here now....especially because he probably knows I called him stupid and fat..